Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
