k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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