How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
did you just send me my own nude
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm like, not good at living.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
