well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
