i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
