Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
