One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
