I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
