Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
