if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
