Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
