508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize