I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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