All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
