how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
