i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
