Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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