so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
