I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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