What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
