I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just pee around me
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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