She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
