Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He did a backflip because drugs
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize