He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize