I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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