Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
