how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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