Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
