omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
