plz talk dirty to me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
