So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
