Umm I'm too high to move.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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