escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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