oh god the rape fog is back!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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