heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
