Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
