If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I had to cum in my sink.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
