It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
