Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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