I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
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