if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
