I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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