Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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