I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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