OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
