Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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