so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So I just went to clothing optional bar
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
