he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
