Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
