thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
