I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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