Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
