when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
