FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
it was like eating out sand paper
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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