I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
