I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
