I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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