3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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